


All the Time in the World

by ShaneVansen



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Romance, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneVansen/pseuds/ShaneVansen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've made it past this hurdle, but there are still so many questions left. (<i>Lay Me Down</i> post-ep)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Time in the World

**Author's Note:**

> Why, why, _why_ are titles so hard?! (The time theme was completely unintentional, but wow, did it pop out at me while I was editing.) Please let me know if I made any embarrassing errors.
> 
> Unbetaed, because it's not very good. (Um...yeah. Go with it.)
> 
> Seasons 3 and 4 are fair game for spoilers.

It's hours later that he asks, "Did you see James? In the barn?"

 _I'll be with our son,_ she'd told him, hoping to comfort him somehow. Maybe she had. Or maybe she'd just driven home that he was left all alone.

"No." Audrey rolls from her side to her back so that she can see him, because this is a conversation that should happen face to face. "The only other person there was William, at least that I saw." She feels guilty, now, that she hadn't even asked about James. She'd only known herself as Audrey after she'd heard Nathan calling for her across the divide, had had only seconds left in the barn before she'd made the leap, but it still stings of failure that she hadn't asked about her – _their_ – son.

__"The barn dropped off Duke," he reminds her before she can get too bogged down in self-recrimination. "Maybe it did the same with James. He's probably out there, somewhere."_ _

__"Maybe," she agrees, distracted by his touch; his hand's resting low on her stomach, his thumb stroking occasionally across her skin. Is it an unconscious gesture, or is he thinking about Sarah and a child they never got to raise?_ _

__She wonders, suddenly, about how long she really spent in that barn. Six months felt like only a few minutes for Duke; her memories are too confused between her own and everything she was given as Lexie's history for her to even guess how long she'd been there, but if she doesn't age between cycles then time must work differently in the barn. Which passage of time counted? Was she gone for a few minutes, or for more than half a year?_ _

__Had she taken her last birth control pill just a few days ago, or has it been over six months?_ _

__This, she thinks, would be a supremely bad time to repeat Sarah's experience. With the Troubles as present as ever, possibly even gaining strength, and the Guard out to get either or both of them, she has no idea how they could even begin to protect a baby._ _

__"Audrey?" She shifts her gaze back to Nathan, realizing she must have drifted off in her thoughts. He's propped up beside her now, looking down at her with a concerned expression. "Is everything okay?"_ _

__"Yeah," she murmurs, deciding not to worry him needlessly; no point in bringing it up when there might not even be an issue. She picks up their conversation from before she got distracted. "We'll look for him," she says. "We'll send out his picture to hospitals, see if he's turned up somewhere." If he remembered who he is, Audrey's sure James would have returned to Haven before now, or at least let them know where he ended up. He might be injured, or could have had his memory erased like what was supposed to happen to her. "And then, when we've fixed things here, we can go search for him."_ _

__He smiles faintly. "Just like that?"_ _

__"Just like that." She reaches up to touch her fingertips to his cheek. "He's our son, Nathan. We're not going to abandon him. It just gives us one more reason to stop the Troubles as soon as we can."_ _

__He turns into her touch, the emotions on his face plain as day, and Audrey's chest aches to see him react like this to so simple a gesture. He _had_ been through a lot, at least as much as her and for six months longer, and she shouldn't have blown up at him like she had. He'd just been a convenient outlet, a _safe_ outlet, because she knows he'll always forgive her in the end._ _

__She hadn't really been angry about him and Sarah and that afternoon at the beach. It just hurt that he has that memory to hold on to when she doesn't._ _

__When she lifts her gaze back to Nathan's, he's still watching her. Audrey thinks she must be doing a terrible job of hiding her thoughts because he looks anxious again. "Audrey," he says. "You're not sorry that we—"_ _

__"No." She doesn't even let him finish the thought, doesn't want him for an instant thinking she regrets this. It was probably stupid – they were having a hard enough time keeping up the pretense of Lexie without this new attachment between them – but she can't find it in herself to actually _regret_ it. If anything, she's sorry they waited so long. "No," she says again. "It's going to make things harder with the Guard, but I'm glad that you're here."_ _

__He's looking at her in a way that makes her think, all at once, of something William said to her in the barn, about that longing for a big love, a real love that she'd never been able to find when she thought she was Lexie. As much as she'd mocked it at the time, Audrey remembers that ache all too well._ _

__Nathan's next words echo something of that memory. "I thought I'd never see you again," he murmurs. "After I shot Howard and the barn disintegrated the way it did, when the Troubles didn't disappear, I was sure you were gone and it was all my fault."_ _

__It's a guilt he's going to carry with him for a long time, Audrey knows; no matter what she or anyone else tells him, he's always going to blame himself for the people who were hurt after she left. Even if they manage to end the Troubles for good and keep him alive at the same time, she doesn't think that will completely erase the responsibility Nathan feels for what happened in that field. Nothing she says now will change that._ _

__So she doesn't use words. Instead, Audrey slides her fingers behind his neck, bringing him down into a kiss. She lays her other hand over his, where it's still resting low on her stomach, and encourages him to move it further up her body so that she's soon arching into his touch. There's another fleeting thought about Sarah and Nathan and what happened when they let themselves get carried away, and Audrey makes a mental note to be sure they're more responsible this time around. Then Nathan's shifting over her, his lips breaking from hers to move down her neck, and she lets herself forget about all the hardships that led them here in order to focus on being with the man she loves._ _

__Their problems haven't all been solved, but for now, at least, they have time._ _

___\--end--_ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so spoiler-free that I don't even know the title of the ep that's airing right now. Kindly keep spoilers out of comments. Thanks!


End file.
